.png)
Getting engaged on Valentine's day? Consider if quiet proposing is a fit for you.
- Donna Langston
- Feb 1
- 5 min read
Looking to pop the question in Kalispell, Montana, but not sure how or where? Consider the act of quiet proposing to reflect the true nature of your love for each other.
Quiet proposing is a trend for intimate, private engagements that focus on the couple's deep connection rather than public event. This often involves shared decision-making (like choosing the ring together) and meaningful, low-key moments. This reflects a shift towards equality and personal values over traditional, grand gestures. It emphasizes emotional depth, collaboration, and a personalized experience, moving away from social media pressure and outdated norms.
Obviously there are many types of people, relationships and hence proposals. For some the grand gesture is the ultimate method for proposing but for those who would like something quieter there is value in that too. 'A quiet proposal can strengthen the bond, emphasising the couple’s connection over societal expectations,' says Martínez. 'This can foster a deeper emotional connection and a sense of unity too.' https://www.womenshealthmag.com/uk/health/sexual-health/a64765712/quiet-proposals/
"While quiet proposals can still have the element of surprise, the act of deciding together might make more sense for some, while also emphasizing your unity. When you both decide, you’re creating something solid. You’re not playing guessing games about whether they’re ready… you know they are because you talked about it. That kind of clarity brings a deeper connection since you’re aligning your visions, your values, your future. And when you’re both in on it, there’s less room for misunderstandings, less pressure to react perfectly," explains Martínez.
Here are just a few advantages to a quiet proposal
Intimacy and Connection: Without an audience, the moment is more personal, heartfelt, and focused on the couple's bond. It's less about performance and more about a heartfelt connection.
Reduced Pressure and Stress: Removing the "spectacle" factor decreases the need for elaborate planning or performance anxiety, providing a more relaxed experience. Opening oneself to an invitation to share one's life with another is one of the most vulnerable times in your life. It is understandable why this can create great anxiety for both involved, Adding a public element to the question might overwhelm the nervous system creating too much anxiety. This takes away the ability to be aware and focused on one of the most joyful moments for couples.
Authenticity and Privacy: The proposal can be created specifically to the couple’s unique relationship, creating a private memory that feels more reflective of who they are. If you think a quiet proposal is perfect for you and your partner, Martínez suggests asking during 'normal' moments: 'My recommendation is to bring it up in moments that feel natural like walking, a lazy Sunday morning or a quiet dinner.'
Matthew Shaw, founder of Sauveur events and creative studio, agreed. 'I would recommend selecting and prioritise a setting or location that’s special to you,' he says, 'and where you can feel totally present and connected with each other. That’s what will help make it memorable.'
Better Communication: Private and quiet settings can encourage deeper conversations about the future and shared values. This shift often affects the wedding journey, according to Ma Maison a wedding venue in Austin, Texas, Couples who propose quietly often plan intentionally.They’re less rushed, more thoughtful about wedding venues and vendors. https://themamaison.com/why-the-quiet-proposal-is-the-engagement-trend-modern-couples-love/ Many couples seek experiences aligned with values, not trends.
Budget-Friendly: Shifting away from grand gestures allows for more financial freedom, focusing on the commitment rather than the cost. Going to a place of significance or a serene space doesn't need to cost anything.
Shared Planning: Quiet proposals often involve joint decision-making, such as choosing the ring together, which increases confidence in the decision. Quiet, private, and thoughtful engagements are increasingly preferred over public, high-pressure events.
"Quiet proposing places an emphasis on authenticity over spectacle," claims holistic dating coaches and authors of "Getting It Right This Time," Orna and Matthew Walters, "Producing an elaborate proposal to share on social media can feel inauthentic and performative. This trend illustrates Gen Z's focus on sharing equally, where the decision to marry is discussed and planned together — including the purchase of an engagement ring." To read more: https://www.women.com/1875853/quiet-proposing-trend-relationship-milestone-explained/
Diamonds Factory has said that in 2025, couples choose engagement rings together 50% of the time, highlighting Gen-Z’s rising trend: “quiet proposing”. They interviewed their store staff and revealed that in over half (53%) of cases, the engagement ring shopper was accompanied by their own partner. Many couples wanting to choose a ring together reflects a shift towards a more intentional, collaborative proposal process.
Serene mountains at a wedding venue by Missoula, Montana Planning the wedding together from the very beginning can reduce the real mental health issue of “planxiety” which is an unhealthy excessive worry about planning a wedding. https://english-wedding.com/2025/05/could-the-trend-for-quiet-proposals-signal-a-future-of-equality-in-wedding-planning
"The quiet proposal also reflects changing relationship dynamics. More women are initiating proposals, and nontraditional couples are reimagining what engagement looks like. Without the need for a grand reveal or viral moment, the act of proposing becomes a shared decision rooted in equality."https://theyesgirls.com/the-rise-of-the-quiet-proposal/
Wedding Venue at a Montana Homestead by Kalispell, Montana Here at The River House Wedding Venue, https://www.riverhousemontana.com, we understand the value of a quiet proposal. For all the elements that come with a quiet proposal are also found here. Our venue offers intimacy, connection and privacy. We have the authenticity and depth of an original 20 acre homestead that has been around for over 100 years. Our buildings bring modern day conveniences with the soul of hard work and love. We offer a wedding experience not just a moment.
If you are looking for an authentic and beautiful wedding celebration, please contact us to learn more and set up a tour, https://www.riverhousemontana.com/contact-8 For more information on The River House Wedding & Event Venue check out our instagram and facebook pages: https://www.instagram.com/theriverhouseweddings/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61564208978040
As a locally owned family wedding venue we recognize the value these types of venues bring to the wedding industry. We all work hard to offer our wedding couples the best experience for their wedding celebration. Below is a list of other locally owned wedding venues in different parts of the United States.
Thank you so much for your time, we are here to help you have the best wedding ever.
Donna Langston
The River House Wedding & Event Venue
Condon, Montana
406-861-2873, riverhousemontana.com
About me: I'm a lover of mountains, rivers and trees and wish to share our beautiful place in Condon, Montana with others. As a mental health therapist, I understand the importance of making your dreams come true. I often use my skills to help the wedding celebration have minimal stress and maximum joy!
Winter forest at a wedding venue near Kalispell, Montana
Comments